You Can Still Wear Cute Shoes

I have been reading the book, You Can Still Wear Cute Shoes, by Lisa McKay. It's written by a pastor's wife, for pastors' wives. I really like it so far. Right now I've been reading about PKs (pastor's kids) and how we (the pastor and his wife) and the congregation shouldn't have higher standard for them then other children. I totally agree with this. How and why should my kids be perfect when I'm not?? None of us can be this side of heaven. This sort of thinking just sets us up for failure. Obviously, no standards are just as bad so we strive for doing the best we can, and when we fail, their is accountability, grace (or justice depending on the circumstance) and forgiveness.

I like knowing that our congregation in Regina knows how imperfect I am (yes, I'm sometimes late to everything, my kids make noise during service and my meals aren't always that edible), and we are still loved despite my many faults and my children's faults. If we can't love and forgive each other then we have not understood the love and forgiveness God has kindly bestowed on us. So, thank you church-family!

Surviving as a Mother

I read this article on Facebook the other day about mothers who don't have the time to catch up with friends, or basically have the energy to just pick up the phone a call a friend. I constantly feel isolated or guilty for not reaching out to others more than I do. I find myself barely getting through the day sometimes and so this article reminded me why it's so hard. I'm not a total failure...I just have kids! And it's simply exhausting just to have kids because of the CONSTANT vigilance you have to keep, the constant thinking of what needs to be done now, in 5 minutes, in 30 minutes, etc. and then being prepared for every possible scenario, especially when leaving the house so you aren't the mother with the screaming child in the grocery line, even though it happens sometimes no matter how well you planned or thought you planned (and then left everything back on the kitchen counter at home).

It's nice to know I'm not lane in this, although it feels like it sometimes. I love when other kids are loud in church, or even late...it makes me feel better..like I'm not the only one struggling. So don't feel alone all you moms out there. I'm in the trenches with you! I keep reminding myself that these years are short and I need to try to enjoy them every second I can before my kids won't want to be chased around the house, tickled and smothered in my kisses and "I love youse". 

One of the Hardest Jobs

Besides pushing a huge cantleloupe-sized head out of a tiny hole, breastfeeding is the next hardest job for a mother. From the moment your child is born you are pressured to begin this unique torture. Put a hungry child in front of you and yes, they'll quickly find where they need to go to find food. However no one tells you that babies don't know what they are doing, just like you don't know what you are doing. You and baby have to figure it out together, AND this process hurts!

I am so thankful for lactation consultants. Without going into much detail, breast feeding didn't quite work out as I had hoped this time, so I pumped about six times a day to keep up with my daughter's feedings. Many people, including some nurses, encouraged me to resume breast feeding after awhile but mentally I just couldn't do it again. I had been through too much and was content to just pump. As long as she had breastmilk for about 8 weeks I would be perfectly happy and so that is what I did, and now she is completely on formula. I just wished people would have understood when I decided to stop breast feeding. I know it's best for the baby but people made me feel extremely guilty when I was miserable already. Breast feeding isn't an easy job and what one woman experiences is completely different from another woman. I am thankful for formula. Back in the day I would have been forced to struggle long term or just find a wet nurse. How crazy is that? Now that would be a hard job!

Returning

It's been awhile since I've written. So much has happened...we went to Calgary for a weekend for a pulpit exchange, we had a baby girl in August, my parents visited for almost three weeks, my son started preschool, we went to Winnipeg for a weekend for another pulpit exchange, my husband's parents and sister were here for a week and life is just now returning to normal.

Adjusting to a life with three kids is hard but things are beginning to fall into place. Luckily the two older kiddos haven't had any jealousy issues yet. So that's awesome!  I've had breast feeding issues so Chloe is mostly on formula now. I won't go into detail on that. However, she started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks so that has been amazing. I probably haven't cleaned the house for three weeks now (please don't judge). I have decided to write my to do list in a notebook so I can keep track of my daily and weekly chores. Hopefully it will help me to get back on track with things such as cleaning and a little more organized overall.  Sometimes I feel like I'm that flustered mom who can't find anything or remember anything unless it's written down. It's time to get back on top of finances and budgeting. Life as a stay at home mom is hard work and if you take a break everything just falls apart. I don't know why they don't have budgeting/finance classes in high school for all kids to learn at a young age.

Still reading these days. I've read 29 books so far this year. My goal was 24 so I'm happy I already accomplished that goal. Also I had a goal to save at least $3,000 this year and I did that for our cousin cruise next summer, although I haven't heard if that plan is still a go or not. Also I need to continue saving to buy a minivan for next summer's trip home. Saving for a house will be minimal or on non-existent until the van is paid off. Oh how I hate money and the need of it sometimes. So many worries come from finances.

My husband preached a summer series on the fruit of the Spirit. It was really good and helped me to remember to be patient and worry less. It's hard but I am trying.

Quilting Projects Done for Now

I finished our new baby's quilt a few weeks ago and just yesterday finished my daughter's quilt for her 2nd birthday. So happy to be done and be able to finally take a break.

Long Time No See

So it's been a while since I've blogged. Sorry for that. Life as a pregnant lady is rough. I am exhausted most days and just can't find the time to sit and actually use my brain cells.

We went on vacation a few weeks ago so I could attend a quilt camp. (Yes, I am a nerd!) And I loved it! I started a quilt for Chloe there but when I got home it was all wrong. I hadn't seen the pattern so I redesigned it and re-quilted it and finally finished it last night. I am proud to have it done before she is born. Yay!

FRONT

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Trying to Just Make It Through the Day

This third trimester is kicking my butt. I need a nap every day and with Brian gone at Synod (he'll be back in a few days), I have no help in the evening so I just pray the hours go by faster and the kids cooperate more than the day before.

Times like this I wish I had a grandparent in town to help. I know it's just a low energy time for me because of the pregnancy...since it's not a really big deal to be alone with the kids all day....frankly, that's my job - stay-at-home mom...but being pregnant and not having ANY relief in the evening has really drained me. I feel the energy slowly surge back the few minutes I am able to talk to Brian each day. I really look forward to his arrival back home. I feel like half of me is missing when he is gone. (This isn't meant to be a sob story...just wondering if anyone else has these moments.)

The only thing that is progressing while he is away is the Christmas stocking I am knitting for the baby. At the rate I am going, I should definitely have it done before she's born in August. This Christmas we'll have five homemade Christmas stockings hanging on the wall. How exciting!